Memories Of Home
by The Sound Of Silver
Summary: Home is a place where the deepest emotions in our hearts finally come alive, where we can finally be honest with ourselves. When all is left of home is memories, it can be hard letting them come out again. Maybe when others see our sadness, they can help us be honest again.


Memories Of Home.

"We're back..." Oerba Dia Vanille said softly, more to herself than anyone. The others spread out, chattering about mostly where they would sleep that night; but she stayed, her eyes turned to the sky.

It was how she had remembered, mostly. The piles of crystal sand about every surface were new, as were the Cie'th that had overrun her home and the obvious wear on the structures. Her hands collected an inch of rust on the banister above the stairs.

The taste of the sand got into her mouth, blown around by the wind. Sounds didn't exist here anymore. It smelled of... _Age_.

She should have been happy to be back, to be home, but shame filled her chest. Oerba was in this decrepit state because of her cowardice.

She thought she was ready for this. Why had she ever even mentioned it?

Vanille was nauseous. She wasn't ready. She went back slowly to the steps. The others were farther ahead, nearly in the old warehouse. They wouldn't notice her for a few more minutes, judging from their animated conversations.

They were trying to be happy, even in the face of imminent doom, they didn't need her bringing down the mood.

She bolted up the steps, the sound of her heels on metal drowning out the unnatural silence.

Hope Estheim heard her footsteps on the stairs and turned around just in time to see her disappear from his sight. He wondered why she was going. She seemed so happy to be home, but in full honesty, he could understand her trepidation. He had almost didn't want to go back to Palumpolum, but eventually he did.

Maybe that's what this was, the shock of seeing it after so long. Had had only been gone from his home for a few days, but the weight of being in his house was heavy on him. It had made him sick for a few minutes.

He caught Fang's attention by waving and she walked over. "What?" She asked, taking in her home for the first time in years with saddened eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing with me," Hope said. He pointed to the stairs. "I think Vanille is a bit overwhelmed. It might be hitting her hard..."

"Ah..." Fang nodded in understanding. Then, she grinned mischievously. "Then why don't you go talk to her?" She jabbed him in the shoulder with her finger, pushing him back, grinning still.

Hope was confused as she kept pushing. "U - Uh, what? Why don't _you_?"

She was using her lance now, the blades folded into a passive position, nudging him in the back with it. "I'm no good at stuff like this," she wanted to laugh at his confused pale face. "Why do you think she lied to me for two weeks? I'm not _that_ kind of talkative." They had made it to the stairs and she poked him again, making him climb. "You two are pretty close, why don't you see if you can get her to come down before it gets dark and ridiculously dangerous?"

Close... He had never really thought about it, but ever since his mother had died, she had been there for him, metaphorically pushing him forward. Maybe she just needed a push now.

A last physical push came from Fang and he stumbled up the steps, landing on his knees. Hope blushed lightly when he heard Fang snickering.

When he turned around, she was gone; walking back to the warehouse, her eyes turned to the sky with a wistful yet proud look on her face.

The smirk never left her lips.

Hope slowly trekked through the abandoned streets, looking for Vanille's distinctive coral hair. The age and content of this place must have been extensive. He wanted to peel away the layers of dirt and rust and see what this village had been before the war.

Reality opened its maw and released its dank breath into the air. He breathed it in and exhaled slowly. He probably wouldn't even live past these moments now, why was he acting like he had a future?

No, he shook his head and kept walking. He had to keep his head up.

Hope felt the vegetation sprouting up from the cracks between his fingers. The fluffy ones burst apart at his touch, sending seeds into the air. They danced in the wind and he watched them twirl around slowly.

He remembered his mother, optimist till the end, wishing on dandelion fluff and fireworks. Summer was her favorite time of year, when she dragged him to every nature park against his will. He had always complained about this, but now he wanted nothing more than to relive these memories as if they were reality. As if he could reach out and she would be right...

_There_. His outstretched hand landed on Vanille's head. She looked up, surprised and confused by the sudden touch but relaxed when she saw it was him.

"Hope?" She smiled, a beautiful mask to hide her sadness. "Whatcha doing?"

Hope broke out of his trance and snatched his hand away. He blushed a deep red and laughed awkwardly, his left hand going into his silver hair, combing through his bangs. "U - Um... Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

She laughed softly at his flushed cheeks. He was so expressive sometimes. "It's okay, Hope." She kicked her crossed legs, the reflection of her action shaking on the water. "I'm glad it's you."

Hope sat down next to her on the stone balcony. He glanced down at the water and saw the reflection of her face, shadowed and sad. "Vanille...?" He asked gently, reaching out for her arm but stalling. "Are you okay?" He said instead.

She opened her mouth as if to speak. No sounds escaped from her lips and she closed them. Shame flittered across her face. "I - I don't..." She trailed off.

Hope wanted to be honest, he didn't know what to say at all. Why had Fang entrusted him with this again?

He just sat there, the sea breeze blowing through their hair, watching the water, silent as the grave.

Vanille noticed the silence about five minutes later and turned to him. "Are you okay?"

Hope gave her a shrewd glance. "I asked you that," he said, grinning. "Are you redirecting...?" Her pout answered his question.

"I just was wondering why you were touching my head, is all." She crossed her arms, the pout firmly in place. "You do weird stuff sometimes."

Hope knew that she was right, but kept his eyes fixed on his shoes. "Okay, that's true." He sighed. "I was thinking about my mom."

Vanille gave a small, understanding sound. She had watched his life go up in flames, starting with his mother's death and becoming a l'Cie. Nothing good had really happened to him and she said so.

Hope shook his head. "No, my dad and I did make up. That was good. And I met you guys. I do miss her a lot, but not everything was bad."

Vanille smiled genuinely. "I'm glad you feel that way."

"I guess your optimism rubbed off on me," Hope said, glad she was smiling. "But now you have to answer my question."

Vanille frowned. "I'm fine, Hope." He laughed at that.

"If you were fine, you wouldn't have run away from us." She had to admit he was right. "...Come on, what's wrong?"

Vanille shrugged lightly. She didn't want to answer this. Not until she knew for sure.

"Vanille, I won't force you to talk," Hope said, raising his hands. "I know that you're having a hard time and—"

"I don't know what I should be feeling right now," Vanille interrupted, her eyes misted over. "I should be happy that I'm home, but I'm not. I should be sad that it's gone, but I'm not. I can't even think about what must have happened to everyone." She bit her lip. "My cousins and friends..."

Right. Hope had to keep reminding himself that Vanille used to have a life, a world of her own. Her family was essentially gone.

"My mom died when I was little and so did my brother," Vanille looked to the sky. "My dad tried to raise me, but he got sick and sent me to live with Fang's family. She didn't really like me at first, she always picked on me and teased me but after my dad died, she took me in like a sister." She smiled sadly. "To even think about it is... Heavy."

Hope nodded. "So you were taken in by Fang's family? That's... _nice_." That was insanely weak. He didn't know Vanille had once had a brother.

"Yeah, Oerba was beautiful in those days." She stood up and a light sparkled in her eyes. "You should have seen it, Hope! There were flowers and colors and lights everywhere!" The light faded. "And then the war came and... Well... It was inevitable, you know?"

Hope directed his gaze to Cocoon, the dying sunlight glinting off of the surface of his former home. What could he say to her? He was a descendant of the people who had sent her home into oblivion. Maybe this wasn't the place for him...

Vanille darted out a hand and squeezed his arm. "Don't. Don't think that." She knew. "I know what you're thinking. It's fine."

"I should be saying that to you," he was flaming on the inside. "Oerba is your home and it's been destroyed."

Her fingers were warm and soft. He couldn't even look at her, his own throat was choking him and sweat ran down his brow. His breathing began to become shallow.

He coughed awkwardly. This was the closest he had ever been to a girl who wasn't in his family.

Vanille felt his body heat up through their contact and smiled to herself. Was he... _Embarrassed_?

A mischievous giggle escaped her lips and Hope turned even redder. "W - What? Is my hair messed up? Do I look like a dork or something?"

She shook her head. "No, you just look cute when you blush." She didn't think it was possible, but his pale cheeks turned even redder. That brought a laugh to her lips. "Now you're even cuter."

Hope buried his embarrassed face in his hands, groaning, "Nooo..."

They fell silent.

She twirled a strand of hair around her finger, curling it into a bouncy loop. Her hand had been removed from his arm, but she did like the way his skin felt. The absence of feeling annoyed her. Maybe if she played her cards right... Yes, she could tease him too.

"Hey, Hope?"

"Yeah?"

"Did you mean it when you said you liked my smile?" She saw him jolt and grinned inwardly.

Hope blinked rapidly, heat rising into his face. "U - Uh... I mean... Muh - Maybe...?" He was flustered and it showed plainly.

If the eyes were the windows to the soul, then Hope's were the wide open pastures of Gran Pulse. He was so expressive, that Vanille bet he didn't even know it. Those eyes gave it away every time.

"Ah, 'maybe.'" Vanille said lightly. "So _maybe_ you do like my smile?"

Interrupting his sputtered response, she continued, "Or _maybe_ you don't?" She said mischievously. She was trying to draw a response.

She got one. "N - No, I do like it!" He shuffled awkwardly. "It does make me feel happy. You're so optimistic and happy all the time, you remind me of my mom a bit." That was stupid.

"Ah, your mother... So I remind you of your mom?"

"No! I mean, yes..." He tried to backtrack, but ended up extremely flustered. "Can't we talk about you?"

"I don't really want to talk. I want to tease you like you teased me in the Massif," she grinned deviously at his bewildered face.

"I - It doesn't really work that wayyy..." Her face was about an inch from his, he could smell her peachy scent this close. "W - What are you doing?"

"Teasing you," she breathed into his face with each slow syllable.

"It's g - getting late..." Hope knew that his little game a few days ago was going to come back to bite him in the arse sooner or later. She wasn't stopping though, advancing on him even as he backed up.

He fell onto his back, all the blood in his body in his face and sweat running down his cheeks. What was she doing...?

He got about half an answer when she used her finger to brush his silver bangs out of his eyes, delicately using the same finger to trace his features. He couldn't move or even breathe for fear of something inappropriate happening if their bodies touched.

"Vanille...?"

She wasn't smiling anymore, a small glimmer of sadness and something else in her eyes. Hope's breath came out in small pants as he desperately searched for a way out.

"Hope, did you ever want something so bad but weren't sure if it was right?" She asked, pausing by his trembling lips.

Hope was confused. "What - What do you mean?"

The look on her face changed to one of slight pity. He didn't understand, did he? Vanille almost laughed and had the naughty urge to make him understand.

She gazed at him with awe and adoration. His lips were pale and a bit thin, like most of his frame; they shook as they tried to form words, but failed to make anything understandable.

"What's so wrong with wanting something bad every now and again?" She was so close...

Hope didn't know what he was going to do.

They slowly let their lips touch, anxiety and inexperience passing through them both, but it still couldn't ruin this moment.

Hope had never kissed a girl before and wasn't sure how it was supposed to feel, in fact he never even really noticed the girls at his school. Something was different about Vanille.

So ungodly _warm_...

She pulled away quickly, her face brilliantly red as her chest heaved for air. Thi - This wasn't supposed to go that far.

Hope was equally thrown off, deeply confused and shocked. Wait, was he the bad thing?

Both teens were deeply puzzled about why their hearts were racing.

Hope coughed akwardly and pointed to the abandoned village they had left. "Um, do you want to—"

Vanille bounced up, avoided eye contact with him and nodded. "Yeah, that sounds... Good."

When they came back, shuffling awkwardly around, Lightning noticed their faces, bright red and avoiding looking at each other.

"Hey," she nudged Fang, who looked up with an eyebrow raised. "What's up with Hope and Vanille? They're acting weird."

Fang snickered, making Lightning even more confused. "Ah, just kids being kids, I'd wager. Nothing to worry about."

"They won't even look at each other!"

Fang tutted and waved a finger in Lightning's face. "Don't you worry bout them. They'll be fine, sunshine. We've got little time left on this planet, just let them be stupid kids."

"Wait," Lightning got most of it. "Did you do something?"

A smirk flashed onto Fang's face. "Let's just say, I sped things up a bit." She clapped a hand on Lightning's shoulder as she departed cheerily. Her fingers formed a squeezed gesture. "Just a bit," she repeated.

Lightning just huffed heavily and shook her head, dandelion fuzz dancing above her in the wind.

(-)-(-)-(-)-(-)

An: So, I wrote a oneshot about Hope and Vanille, my favorite couple in the FF-13 universe. I liked the way it came out, mostly because it's the first story I've ever completed. Lol, that's sad. Sigh...

I got inspired by the coming home scene in 13, and wondered what else happened to them in between the bosses. I was bored, okay?

You haven't ever been bored before?


End file.
